Sunday, March 7, 2010

Hungry Not Horny's Wing Round-Up - 1st Edition: "Fuck these Chickens!"


Wings were something that we became passionate about once we moved to Baltimore. There are so many places that serve wings and each restaurant seems to have their own take, or at least an attempt at standing out in the sea of crispy juicy spiciness. A general rule for wings is that they should be eaten as fresh as possible. Like any fried food, it's best straight out of the fryer. An oven can attempt to re-crisp your wings but it ain't the same. The meat can also get overcooked when re-heated, generally not worth it.

Our first venture into the land-o-wings was at Towson's Pickles and Chips. I (B!) randomly wanted some wings and they were pretty good from P n' C. This sparked the whole baby chicken drumstick frenzy. We were now off trying every shop's wings and came across some major winners as well as some sore losers. The search was worth it b/c now we know exactly where to pick up a badass set of wangs.

1220 East Joppa Road
Towson, MD 21286


The general Baltimore area loves them some Cluck-U. We had one in Towson but they closed down just as we were realizing their goodness. The range of sauces is great and they have tons of other fried options which perfectly compliment a well-cooked wing. Our only complaint would be that the outside of their wings are not always crispy. Occasionally had a few soggy ones. Even so, it's worth a few not-so-hot ones to get that good batch.

20 East Ordnance Rd.
Glen Burnie, MD 21060


We consider Buffalo Wild Wings to be the ultimate, the winner, the supreme master of our wing-obsessed lives. We say that with our heads partially lowered for two reasons the main one being that they are a corporate chain and we would rather promote small and/or independent businesses. The second reason is that there is basically nothing else that is good on their menu. The fries are ok. The drinks suck. I ordered a mojito which had no alcohol in it and when I told the waiter that neither one of us could taste any alcohol, he shrugged. Whatever, it was Tuesday night (45 cent wings, baby!) so the place was packed to the brim. We get their super hot wings every time, the milder ones are just less interesting. May we especially recommend Hot, Wild and Blazin'? Anyway, order an extra side of sauce, sour lemonade and some mediocre fries and enjoy! But stay away on Tuesday, it's annoying how packed it gets.

8200 Perry Hall Blvd.
Nottingham, MD 21236


Universal Subs and Pizza, not much to say about their wings. We tried the Thermonuclear and the habanero heat was awesome but the sauce lacked flavor, it was just super hot and salty. We've heard great things about Universal but we have yet to see what it's all about.

1700 Joan Ave
Parkville, MD 21234


Bill Bateman's Bistro wings are too chunky and they are definitely stingy on the sauce. The Atomic was nice and very hot but these wings just don't keep us coming back. Neither does the atmosphere. Is it just us or are the Towson students rude as shit? DO NOT listen to the hype about this place.

7800 York Road
Towson, MD 21204


Chili Man is gross and we won't try their wings. Their cheese sauce is sour (!?!!?) and the chili has a canned/dog food feel to it. You take business from Burger Bros but maybe you should after what we say next. Also, your restaurant stinks, literally.

18 Allegheny Avenue
Towson, MD 21204


We've gotten overcooked wings too many times from Burger Bros. Do people really enjoy chicken jerky that much? Your burgers rock but your fries are so oily tasting. We want to like you, too, but even Buffalo Wild Wings has acceptable fries. Then again, you aren't called Wings and Fries Bros.... Touche.

14 Allegheny Ave
Towson, MD 21204


Red Robin's Buzzard wings are pretty damn good. One of the more unique wing sauces out there on top of a perfectly crispy wing. An extra side of buzzard sauce, their steak fries... my keyboard just shorted out from all the drool. Unfortunately, there’s no variety in sauce, only the buzzard sauce and you can't make it any more or less spicy, even if you ask one of those evil RR waitresses. Just kidding, they're always way nice...even if they do sneak glass into the meals.

1238 Putty Hill Avenue
Towson, MD 21286


*Gag* TGI Friday's wings. Do not order the soggy salty mess they call wings at this establishment. I will give in that the ribs are good. Damn you corporate food, damn you and your delicious preservatives!

825 Dulaney Valley Road
Towson, MD 21204


The Roost, famous for lake trout (whiting) makes unbelievable fried wings. Dose heavily w/ the house hot sauce, enjoy until you can't no mo. The owner is incredibly friendly, and not in a creepy way!! We loved everything we ate here. Anthony Bourdain already said it all about this place, just deeply comforting delicious food.

5281 Reisterstown Rd
Baltimore, MD 21215


Seasons Pizza makes an ok wing. Some days are better (crispier) than others. The Hot sauce is heavy with vinegar and fills your sinuses as soon as the Styrofoam opens. The Extra Hot is not that much hotter than the Hot but is just less vinegar-y. Seasons and Universal do something that pisses us off--and it may be the snob that sunbathes very openly within the both of us, but they serve partial wings or wings with broken bones. We aren't big fans of jumbo wings (Batemans) but shards of bone or tiny deformed wings just aren't appealing. Since we tend to split orders of wings, one of us always gets left with the tiny "disabled" wing and that's just not fair! Quality control, please. Is that just us or do other people not want that either?

40 York Rd
Towson, MD 21204


Bubbas of Towson, meh. Flabby chicken skin does not exactly keep us coming back for more. And where was the sauce? We almost tasted some. With most of these wing places, we wish they would let us know that we should order extra sauce on the side.

905 York Road
Towson, MD 21204


Any ideas for where else we should be sampling wings? Suggestions are very welcome, especially places that specialize in wings, have multiple/range of sauces, or just randomly happen to have great wings. Let us know, we hungry!

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